Relationships are a key component for a satisfying life. In order to create and maintain the type of relationship you desire, it is helpful to understand how attachment styles influence behavior. A 1969 research study, the Strange Situation test, conducted by developmental psychologist, Mary Ainsworth, identified four types of attachment styles. These attachment styles were described as either secure or insecure, depending on how children responded to the separation and arrival of their caregiver.
In this experiment, a caregiver brings their child into a research laboratory with a stranger present. The caregiver, typically the mother, enters the room with their child, talks with the stranger, and then leaves the room. The child’s reaction to the caregiver leaving is observed. The caregiver returns to the room and the child’s reaction to their mother entering the room is observed. The child’s reactions identify their attachment style:
Secure attachment style. ‘B babies’ category. Child will engage with the stranger when mother is in the room. When mother leaves, the child gets upset, whines, cries, or exhibits tantrums. Child appears visibly happy when mother returns. The child believes caregiver is available and is responsive to their needs. Child trusts the parent will return. The child is good at exploring especially when their parent is present. Child will begin to trust the stranger with interactions over time.
Anxious-avoidant attachment style. ‘A babies’ category. Insecure attachment. Child generally avoids or ignores the parent. Child shows little emotion when the parent leaves or returns. Child does not exhibit distress upon separation. The child may approach the parent when they return but child does not appear happy or excited to see their parent.
Anxious-ambivalent or resistant-insecure attachment style. ‘C babies’ category. Child showed distress before separation from parent. The child is clingy and difficult to comfort when the mother returns. Child shows resentment or helpless passivity when mother returns.
Disorganized attachment style. ‘D babies’ category. Insecure attachment. Child tends to be tense and shows odd physical postures. The child hunches shoulders, cocks head to the side, and constrains their body size. Child does not know how to react to separation from parent. Child’s reactions lack a readily observable goal, intention, or explanation.
Childhood attachment styles strongly predict adolescent and adult romantic attachments. Secure attachment is predictive of more stable relationships. This refers to the ability for a person to feel safe with others, including new people or an established relationship with a romantic partner. This is the most healthy type of attachment as it allows for the exploration of the environment with acknowledgement of supports. In a romantic relationship, this may look like a person who is able to express their needs and consider their partner’s needs. The securely attached partner understands that their relationship is consistent and positive overall.
People who have experienced trauma may not feel secure within romantic relationships. They might struggle to feel safe while exploring the world. Avoidance of relationships, mood swings while establishing or maintaining relationships, and difficulty committing or being emotionally available characterize attachment issues. It is important to note that attachment styles can change over the lifespan. Therapy may improve the way you relate to others, reduce behaviors negatively affecting your relationships, and help you feel more confident. Psychiatric medication may stabilize mood swings or decrease symptoms related to trauma.
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